Written by

Guy Christopher

A 100% Surefire, No Risk, Can’t Lose Investment. No Kidding.

DEAR GOLDBUGS,
You’ve been waiting all your life to put your money in a 100% Surefire, No Risk, Can’t Lose Investment.  Well, I have one for you and this is no Brooklyn Bridge.  There wasn’t room in the title of this article to say it all, so let me also add that besides being No Risk, this investment is Guaranteed To Make Money and it’s Designed Entirely By You To Fit Your Needs.  It allows you to Invest Any Amount of Money, Large or Small and you very well might Double Your Money in just a few years or less.  At the very least you will Beat Stock Market Returns hands down.

To top it off, if you decide you aren’t happy with this deal, you can very easily bail out of this investment and walk away any time you want With No Penalty!  Actually, it just keeps getting better, since this investment requires No Paperwork and has Tax Free Profit with No Government Reporting!  Plus, it can be passed on to your heirs with No Probate or Inheritance Tax.  

I could go on, but I think it might be more fun if you draw up your own list of advantages after you hear what this investment is all about.  You’re going to get that information in just a second, but first I promise that No Salesperson Will Call and I promise you will Never Pay Additional Shipping and Handling.

Ready?  Sure you are, so here is

            Your Personal Guide to Your 100% Surefire, No Risk, Can’t Lose Investment

As you do your normal shopping, spend a few extra bucks (invest your money) by simply stocking up on non-perishables right now, at today’s prices, before prices and sales taxes rise any higher.  You choose how much to invest and exactly which products to invest your money in.

You take your profits when future prices are higher and future sales taxes are higher.  You will take those profits when you finally consume the products you’ve been saving.  You will have made money by saving the cost of all price hikes and the cost of higher sales taxes, simply because you bought the stuff when prices were lower.  You can supercharge your own investing power (known on Wall Street as leverage)  if you stock up during sales or regularly shop for items in bulk at a wholesale warehouse store.

If you jump on this investment idea, you’ll come up with your own list of items, but for illustration purposes, let’s use the one I think says it all:  bathroom tissue.

I’ve seen the price of a roll of bath tissue double in just the past 18 months.  I’m old enough to remember a roll at around 5 cents.  Just a few years ago I bought at 25 cents on average, and now a roll runs about 50 cents or higher.  That includes the cost in the rising sticker price and the very real cost of shrinking rolls.   You aren’t supposed to notice they’ve shrunk, but a keen shopper who watches the budget will certainly spot the differences.

Hey, I understand these companies need to make profits, but frankly, the new marketing of bath tissue and other products tends to insult intelligence.  Producers and marketers of bath tissue have muddied the matter by offering different grades of bath tissue, directing attention to double rolls, softer rolls, and stronger rolls.  I don’t know a soul on Earth who can tell you off hand how much a roll of bath tissue weighs, or how much they used to weigh, or how much they should weigh, or how many inches thick it is, and so it’s very easy for marketers to hide their shrinking bath tissue rolls behind new and improved wording on the packages.  Single-ply and double-ply don’t mean so much when the ply is half as thick and half as long.

Thanks to a bathroom remodeling job I did in 2007, I noticed that the 2012 model tissue roll fits more loosely on the tissue-holder in my bathroom.  In 2007, I had to stuff the thing on my brand new holder and it would barely move.  I’d be tugging on the thing all day.   Now, it flies right off, which means it’s not only not thicker, but also about an inch shorter in overall height than the older models.   Maybe the marketers could call these ‘easier to use.’

Bath tissue isn’t the only product shrinking in volume while rising in price.  Chocolate candy bars come to mind, as does the now extinct gallon of ice cream, the 25 Cent Burger and 5 Cent Coke.   Where goods are sold and advertised traditionally by the pound, producers simply hike the prices and skip the fancy labeling footwork.  I’ve seen white rice double in my region over just the past six months.  Steak and beef prices have risen by 50% and don’t mention to me the $2 box of breakfast cereal that now costs $4.  Or the 12-ounce package of hot dogs that used to weigh a pound.   I remember not too long ago buying a bag of apples for $1, so where in the world did they come up with the $2.19 per pound for apples?  That puts one single, nice sized apple at around a buck.  And what’s up with the 40 cent banana?

Well, I’ll tell you what’s up with those higher prices :  (1) increased record government money printing, which is destroying the value of the dollar and inflating the prices for goods and services, (2) increased government debt which will saddle every taxpayer in the USA with higher tax bills, including sales taxes for local governments, (3) war drums in the Middle East which threaten oil markets and push trucking and transportation costs higher across the globe every time a fighter jet leaves the runway from Israel, Syria, Iran, Turkey or Saudi Arabia, and  (4) the lingering drought in the US which has all but destroyed the corn crop.   Corn is vital to many other food products, like meat and cereals.  The economic effects of the devastated corn supply will last for years, not just one season.

Government meddling in your life is costing you more in many ways as well.  Forget for a moment the higher medical cost of socialized medicine, which I believe  is coming whether Obamacare is repealed or not.  Unless you’ve stocked up on incandescent light bulbs, you can look forward to the higher costs of government mandated mercury light bulbs that go for upwards of $3-4 each.  Whether the stupid laws against old-fashioned light bulbs are repealed or not, the manufacturers are very happy to concentrate on the more expensive mercury bulbs.

That’s the same light bulb that needs an emergency HazMat team in moon suits to clean up your home if you drop one and break it.   And you’d probably get charged for the cleanup, too.  Not so with the old-fashioned 60 watt model that was good enough for Thomas Edison and is good enough for me.  I bought a case of brand named bulbs at 25 cents each three or four years ago.  I estimate my profits are 1,200% and still rising on each dollar of that investment,  and I’m not scared to death to drop and break a bulb.  As far as I’m concerned, the jury’s still out on the supposed longer life of those deadly, mercury jobbies.  I do have a few, and I plugged one in the other day.  It didn’t work.  Money wasted.

When you see the whole picture, you are assured higher prices for everything you buy in the coming months and years.  Higher.  Prices.  And.  Higher.  Taxes.  Guaranteed.  There’s an investing rule on Wall Street – Never bet against the stupidity or the corruption of government. The folks who manufacture light bulbs understand that rule.

I can’t do very much about the prices of perishable food items that I buy, except to grow my own or do without.  I have a garden, for instance, but I’m not prepared to run a cattle ranch.  I can make a stand, however, with my very easy to operate investment in non-perishables that are easy to stock and stack.  The criteria for this investment plan would include:  (1) buying extra items (making the investment) that I know I’m going to use no matter what comes;  and (2) buying extra items that are not going to spoil no matter how long it takes for me to finally put them to use (taking my profits).  It’s really that simple.

If prices rise by 10% and you don’t need to buy at the higher price, you’ve just made 10%, which beats the stock market in most years.  If prices double in one, two or three years, you will automatically double your money without lifting another finger.  As a bonus you’ll avoid the higher sales taxes on what you’ve bought since you won’t have to pay those taxes in the future.  The good news is that if prices never rise another cent as long as you live, and if taxes never go up another dime, you can’t lose your invested money because all of your non-perishables will be useful to you at some point.

You will easily spot those items that fit your own needs on any trip to the market or any tour of your own pantry or storage cabinets, but here’s my short list:  bathroom tissue; incandescent light bulbs; (including nite-lites and outdoor flood lamps);  Q-Tips;  Band-Aids and bandages;  sealed bottles of rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide;  plastic trash bags and all other petroleum-based products;  ammunition;  office supplies;  aluminum cooking wrap.

When a friend of mine stopped to buy a penny box of safety matches to light his cigar, he found that box cost 39 cents plus tax.   I now have a case or two of safety matches, which I’ll use over the next many years mainly to light the barbeque and the candles on the cake.  Here’s a tip for safety matches – wrap the boxes tightly in plastic wrap after you buy them, or moisture could ruin them in a few years.  And hey, you may as well stock up on the plastic wrap while you’re at it.

Even if I limited the investment to just a hundred bucks and a few product names, I’d probably double my money in under two years, giving me eight times the profit an investment in the S&P 500 could possibly produce.  The stock market, which has crashed three times over the past 12 years, doesn’t have a chance of doubling from current levels for another thirty years.  The stock market has every good chance of crashing big time again in the near future.  Buying bath tissue is a much better investment than risking my money on Wall Street.

Among edible non-perishables, I’d add packaged/sealed white rice, salt, honey, distilled white vinegar and a few bottles of fine bourbon, all of which store and last indefinitely.  Here’s an excellent website detailing the shelf life of thousands of edible products.  And of course, the survival food products such as those you can find here at Dan’s Depot are made to last for years and years until you get hungry.

One surprising item I’ve researched is soap.  I’ve found many soap products lose their punch after six months to a year.  Most soap products don’t make my list of items to stock.  Neither does gasoline, which deteriorates quickly and is very dangerous to store.

This investment is so simple to understand A Child Could Do It, and in fact, your children can even give you a hand by helping you load the groceries after shopping.

If you find any spare time while you’re busy making all this money, I’d be interested in hearing your list of non-perishable investments.